Here are some words of wisdom to help you have a productive dating experience.
Texting is the death of the first date
When you are conversing with someone on a dating app and that person asks to switch over to direct texting on your phone instead (by giving or asking for a phone number), there is a 60% chance the date will no longer happen. (This is based on evidence from my clients’ experiences over the last decade.)
Why is this? Because someone drops the ball and doesn’t text, the plans don’t get finalized, someone texts something inappropriate, it turns into a pen pal relationship … the list goes on.
Make your plans for the first date directly within the dating app.
Once the date is scheduled, feel free to exchange numbers just for contingencies by saying, “In case you need to reach me tomorrow, my number is ___.” Your conversation-to-date conversion rate will be much higher.
If someone is treating you in a way you don’t like but you accept it, that is the treatment you will get.
For example, let’s say you prefer phone calls, but the person you’re dating only texts you. If you don’t tell the other person your preferences and simply reply to all the texts, then that is what you get.
You should never be shy to ask for what you need, which leads to the next point …
I hear all the time, primarily from women, that they are afraid to express their needs and expectations to their (often new) partner.
Assuming what you’re asking isn’t unreasonable, it’s up to the other person to decide whether to do that or not. If they can, great. If they can’t, then it is up to you to decide how important it is to you.
There was once a time when you could simply put old photos and love letters out of sight and out of mind. Editing your ex out of your digital life is a lot trickier.
